To be critical, or not to be

Everyone has a right to be respected and be treated respectfully.

First law of criticism: Those seeking to criticize must gain the consent of the person they wish to criticize, there must be common consent. (otherwise people won’t hear you or they will protect themselves by dismissing you.)

All forms of criticizing are born from arrogance and pride (self protective beliefs and behaviors) and are rooted in insecurity and deep emotional woundedness. People who are critical are fearful and are incapable of creating an intimate space. Ironically all of criticism is a underhanded manipulative way of make others dependent on the critic who needs to be elevated and feel important, and because they are incapable of doing that internally, they need others to validate their worth for them. The intent of criticism is optimally to strip others of their belief in their self worth and minimally create self doubt in inherent self worth.

Forms and Ways of Criticizing Self or Others :

Sarcasm, humorous or otherwise: For you it reflects a need to be seen as the clever this guy, who is witty. For them it is demeaning and belittling and silencing. stripes them of their
Analysis, Appraisal, Evaluation: For you it means you lack empathy. For them it objectifies a child of God.
Questioning: Accusations in the form of questions. For you it reveals your distrust and need to control. For them it destroys their belief that they are trustworthy.
Direction Giving: For you it reflects your impatience and need to appear in front of others to know more, a power trip of dominance. For them it sends the message that they are incapable/incompetent which encourages fear of making mistakes this in turn stifles creativity, growth and also creates dependent based relationships.
Being Contrary and Correcting facts: For you it means you are threatened and need to emotionally bully someone and feel justified in being right a sign of self righteousness. For them it destroys their opportunity to be acknowledged and valued as knowing something or being smart.
“Truth” and “Honesty” as forms of criticism. These critics exploit the nature and purpose of truth and honesty so they can assault others. For you it means you are insensitive, self-righteous and weak in your discerning abilities. It also means that you exploited someone’s learning moment for personal gain and glory. For them it means feeling used and exposed while in the vulnerable moment of learning a lesson. For both it is the opportunity to manifest wisdom while discerning the important difference between being ‘honest” and sharing “truth” and destroying a learning moment or edifying, uplifting and encouraging another while they are discovering truth.

(Many of these ideas are found in Dr. John Lund's book "Not Without Offense"