Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Old Sharing
I was talking to a woman 30 years my senior and we were talking about the value of old friends, old not in reference to age but in reference to a long history together. She used the term “Old Sharing”. I have never heard that term “I think she coined it one the spot” said another friend when we talked about that phrase later. I like “Old Sharing” it has depth to it. Depth that can only be reached from a long term commitment to keep sharing honestly over time. It means friends who not only have a history together but they have a commitment to each other to stay in a relationship despite any bumps or tangles that happen on the outside of the friendship but also that happen on the inside, a little like a strong marriage. There is respect, honesty, understanding and genuine vulnerability; I am not even interested in a relationship that doesn’t have vulnerability in it, protection, for me, is disengaging.
So many important things happen over long periods of time marriages can dissolve, parents once thriving become ill and sometime pass away, sometimes we put some of our best dreams to rest…there can be grieving. “Old Sharing” is a comfort when these things happen. But Old Sharing" can be celebratory as well. Good things can happen: marriages grow and become strong and give birth to families that multiply new generations, in mid-life new dreams never dreamt before sprout, years of collecting gems of knowledge valuable because of the sacrifice and cost are uncovered by determination to learn and put an end to the exhausting repeat curriculum of ignorance. The treasure of "Old Sharing" for me comes back to another personally popular theme: emotional intimacy. “Old Sharing” is familiar emotional intimacy over time. It is to know someone well enough that even as they share what is new, how they feel about it is before you, visibly before you, internally before you. And while language stumbles to catch up to the speed of emotional intimacy we silently wait to embrace "Old Sharing". I believe friends and “Old Sharing” get better with eternity.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
I believe in a life with God our Father before we came to earth. I believe when we came to earth there was a veil of forgetfulness placed over our minds so that we could learn the eternal principle of Faith. We needed to practice believing in things we could only feel first, then hope in and eventually see…not all of this harvest comes in this earth life…such a test.
But my personal belief is that we have no veil of forgetfulness over our emotions. It seems to me that we inherently know that in a family we should have a sense of belonging. We seem to automatically want our parents to love us, see us and accept us…whatever we look like. I believe this desire runs eternally deep and I think the most significant evidence there is of this lack of veil is how people emotionally respond when they don’t have these things in their families. They feel; hurt, fearful that they might never feel like they belong to a family, angry because they missed something they were entitled too experiencing, ripped off because they feel deficient or defective personally, emotionally wounded. What makes us believe that family is a place of love and belonging? A place to be known acknowledged and accepted? Who told us that?
I believe we lived with our Father in Heaven, God, before we came to earth. I believed we lived in a family there. I believe I am His daughter and I have no memory of this in my mind, but I believe my emotions remember how I felt there. I was loved, I was safe, I was known, I was accepted for who I was who I still am today in some ways, there is no question that I belonged there because my Father in Heaven wanted me, He created me, He brought me to life. I believe these things and I believe in them and when I live according to my emotional memory; I am happier, I feel aligned and I feel honest.
I wonder what joy was there in our family there with God. I wonder how I felt when He delighted in me. I wonder how I can create that kind of feeling in my home; for myself, for my husband, for my children?
Friday, January 4, 2013
It has been a long time since I have stirred in my blog. I haven’t looked at it in years. But John’s invitations unsettled me, in the best possible way.
How do I create an environment in my home that creates in my children a desire to love and trust their Creator... and want to do His will….more than their own.
How can I create the kind of environment that makes it easy for my children to believe in their Divine Nature?
How can I create an environment that inspires the Unique Eternal Identity of each of my children in a way that they will want to claim it, cultivate it and protect it?
These are the things that my mind cannot run away from.
These are the things I cannot stop my heart from pulling toward.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Millennium and motherhood today
When Satan in bound in a single home,
When Satan is bound in a single life,
The millennium has already begun.
In that home,
In that life.
President Spencer W. Kimball
I saw this quote on the refrigerator of my friend and it rooted deeply into me, as if I had been waiting for it, looking for it most my life but wasn't aware of any of this.
I like it because it means that I don't have to wait for the millennium to start. It can start in me today.
For me it says I can be ready now, my family can be ready now. I can be in the Savior's presence now. For me it is about creating a space where the Savior can BE, welcome, comfortable and Himself, in all His Light and Truth. That is about the powerful affects of the atonement in my life if I repent I have access to Him. It is about my readiness in mind, my willingness of heart and my desire to seek the spirit when creating a space, a home where this happens. I can be ready for Him, I can create a home that is ready for Him.
When I depend on Christ to make myself and my home ready, He comes. While I wait on the Lord (DC 98:1-3), while I wait for the Lord, I will be nor more worhty to be in His presence then, than now. He has keep His promise to redeem me, I can do mine.
When am I in the presence of God and what am I doing to create this readiness in my home. For me one of the most powerful tools I have the Holy Ghost. I try to teach my children to practice hearing him. What does he feel like to you? What does he sound like to you? How does he speak to you? I ask them.
I try to ask them daily when they recognized his voice and influence in their lives. I must know these things of myself or I cannot guide them in this process. I have not been surprised that when they most feel him, is when they are still, quiet, paying attention to their "inner man", when they most FEEL themselves, they feel the Holy Ghost enLIGHTEN them. Any distraction prohibits this, screen time is one more, plentiful distraction. Like anything else priority and balance must be given to times of reflection.
I can teach my children what I do to create that quiet time with prayer, scriptures the temple etc. but the real challenge is to teach how it feels to open their heart, keep it soft, letting love in and yielding to God, for HIS glory.
The truth is I cannot give them a testimony of Christ, or I cannot give them the feeling of the Holy Ghost. I cannot make them want to soften their heart or give them intent to glorify God; not me or themselves. I can only help them identify who the Holy Ghost is and what his purpose is and how he feels. In their young age it is their responsibility to recognize him, listen to him and come to know Christ. I can believe that they are fully capable of doing this.
I can only learn these doctrines (2 Ne 31:21, 3 Ne 11: 31-41) of myself and then the most I believe I can do is to share them with my children in pure testimony. I am completely dependent as a mother on the Holy Ghost to teach them to "Understand" (DC 68:25) to "carry it into their heart" (2 Ne 33:1),to give them desire to love Christ and "convert" (Is 6:10)them to their Savior.
My responsibility as a mom is to secure the right kind of time, and the right kind of space, and be a witness of the Holy Ghost and His purpose (while I'm doing the dishes or tucking them or driving them to school).
This is motherhood and ushering in the millennuim in my life and in my home. It is creating a space where my children want to know Christ, love Him and desire to give their will to Him over and over and over again....because after all they are my children and these are the last days.
When Satan is bound in a single life,
The millennium has already begun.
In that home,
In that life.
President Spencer W. Kimball
I saw this quote on the refrigerator of my friend and it rooted deeply into me, as if I had been waiting for it, looking for it most my life but wasn't aware of any of this.
I like it because it means that I don't have to wait for the millennium to start. It can start in me today.
For me it says I can be ready now, my family can be ready now. I can be in the Savior's presence now. For me it is about creating a space where the Savior can BE, welcome, comfortable and Himself, in all His Light and Truth. That is about the powerful affects of the atonement in my life if I repent I have access to Him. It is about my readiness in mind, my willingness of heart and my desire to seek the spirit when creating a space, a home where this happens. I can be ready for Him, I can create a home that is ready for Him.
When I depend on Christ to make myself and my home ready, He comes. While I wait on the Lord (DC 98:1-3), while I wait for the Lord, I will be nor more worhty to be in His presence then, than now. He has keep His promise to redeem me, I can do mine.
When am I in the presence of God and what am I doing to create this readiness in my home. For me one of the most powerful tools I have the Holy Ghost. I try to teach my children to practice hearing him. What does he feel like to you? What does he sound like to you? How does he speak to you? I ask them.
I try to ask them daily when they recognized his voice and influence in their lives. I must know these things of myself or I cannot guide them in this process. I have not been surprised that when they most feel him, is when they are still, quiet, paying attention to their "inner man", when they most FEEL themselves, they feel the Holy Ghost enLIGHTEN them. Any distraction prohibits this, screen time is one more, plentiful distraction. Like anything else priority and balance must be given to times of reflection.
I can teach my children what I do to create that quiet time with prayer, scriptures the temple etc. but the real challenge is to teach how it feels to open their heart, keep it soft, letting love in and yielding to God, for HIS glory.
The truth is I cannot give them a testimony of Christ, or I cannot give them the feeling of the Holy Ghost. I cannot make them want to soften their heart or give them intent to glorify God; not me or themselves. I can only help them identify who the Holy Ghost is and what his purpose is and how he feels. In their young age it is their responsibility to recognize him, listen to him and come to know Christ. I can believe that they are fully capable of doing this.
I can only learn these doctrines (2 Ne 31:21, 3 Ne 11: 31-41) of myself and then the most I believe I can do is to share them with my children in pure testimony. I am completely dependent as a mother on the Holy Ghost to teach them to "Understand" (DC 68:25) to "carry it into their heart" (2 Ne 33:1),to give them desire to love Christ and "convert" (Is 6:10)them to their Savior.
My responsibility as a mom is to secure the right kind of time, and the right kind of space, and be a witness of the Holy Ghost and His purpose (while I'm doing the dishes or tucking them or driving them to school).
This is motherhood and ushering in the millennuim in my life and in my home. It is creating a space where my children want to know Christ, love Him and desire to give their will to Him over and over and over again....because after all they are my children and these are the last days.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Emotional Honesty
What happens to our emotionality in strictly religious settings, where parental intentions are good, but personal gain/focus weighs too heavy (as evidenced through fear of what other’s will think of our abilities as parents when our children don’t “choose the right” which is in reality “our right” and what is best for us) and emotional coaching skills are too weak to combat a child’s natural response to withdraw and shut down emotionally and spiritually and religion is rejected or becomes something rooted in self discipline giving birth to worship for personal gain ( personal image) or solely out of duty and obligation set in personal resistance. And who is at the focus of this survival mode birthed through a need for parental approval while denying oneself? An inflated and distorted sense of “Self” or in other words a fragile core. To me this shares so many elements of Satan’s plan of personal glory through personal gain whose foundation is force and coercion.
In this way humility is lost because honest humility’s fundamental step is emotional honesty and our acceptance of our most vulnerable and emotionally raw self. Denial of our honest emotions is the foundation of pride, personal protection out of desperation and the fast current of moving our escapes to levels of addiction. The power of emotional honesty or humility and acceptance of where we are emotionally, is we are never alone in it. It is only in that moment where we can feel fully the presence of God and His deep and abiding love for us as manifested in the atonement of Christ. His encircling arms are ever present in that broken hearted moment as we are stripped of pride and swallowed in the power of His desire forgive us and love us it is impossible to not feel our own desire to open and extend our heart more to receive even more of Him if possible. In our newfound desire to be open to His influence we diligently seek to know what we can do to please Him, to serve Him and our willingness to live in accordance with our desire easily manifests in our daily practices and habits in seeking and doing His will before our own or someone else’s.
The doctrine of humility, yielding or will or a broken heart and a contrite (willing) spirit is the key to charity, the pure love of Christ and becoming like Him. It is in our constant striving to become like Christ that our happiness is ensured and His promise linked to it is fulfilled. Determination to protect and maintain a broken heart and a contrite spirit or a soft heart (towards God’s will for us and in our dealing with other’s Matt 25:40) in times of adversity expedite the opportunity for our personal growth, happiness and the Holy Ghost’s ability to sanctify us through refining. These godly characteristics further prepare us to be in His glorious presence so that we might receive in our mortality bit by bit a fullness of all that He has and all that He is, all starts with emotional honesty and acceptance of where we are and a desire to turn to Christ so that He can help us to know Him and become like Him.
In this way humility is lost because honest humility’s fundamental step is emotional honesty and our acceptance of our most vulnerable and emotionally raw self. Denial of our honest emotions is the foundation of pride, personal protection out of desperation and the fast current of moving our escapes to levels of addiction. The power of emotional honesty or humility and acceptance of where we are emotionally, is we are never alone in it. It is only in that moment where we can feel fully the presence of God and His deep and abiding love for us as manifested in the atonement of Christ. His encircling arms are ever present in that broken hearted moment as we are stripped of pride and swallowed in the power of His desire forgive us and love us it is impossible to not feel our own desire to open and extend our heart more to receive even more of Him if possible. In our newfound desire to be open to His influence we diligently seek to know what we can do to please Him, to serve Him and our willingness to live in accordance with our desire easily manifests in our daily practices and habits in seeking and doing His will before our own or someone else’s.
The doctrine of humility, yielding or will or a broken heart and a contrite (willing) spirit is the key to charity, the pure love of Christ and becoming like Him. It is in our constant striving to become like Christ that our happiness is ensured and His promise linked to it is fulfilled. Determination to protect and maintain a broken heart and a contrite spirit or a soft heart (towards God’s will for us and in our dealing with other’s Matt 25:40) in times of adversity expedite the opportunity for our personal growth, happiness and the Holy Ghost’s ability to sanctify us through refining. These godly characteristics further prepare us to be in His glorious presence so that we might receive in our mortality bit by bit a fullness of all that He has and all that He is, all starts with emotional honesty and acceptance of where we are and a desire to turn to Christ so that He can help us to know Him and become like Him.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Manipulation 2
Manipulation 2
Everyone is vulnerable to manipulation.
I think we develop some of the following "fragile core self” characteristics when we have been in a relationship with a Toxic person. We learn (we are trained) to get along with them adopting some of the following characteristics in the name of self preservation and emotional survival. Just be aware that this survival mode although once helpful makes you a prime target for manipulation.
You are more vulnerable to manipulation if:
1. Your identity is defined by others approval of you, if your sense of peace is dependent on agreeing with others, if your sense of worth comes from pleasing others. You are responsible for forming your identity.
2. You believe your sense of identity and “self” needs to be invisible to get along with others. You are responsible for asserting your “self” so that those who love you can understand and honor you.
3. If your afraid of negative emotions; yours or someone else’s. You’re are responsible to learn the self reflective lessons of your negative emotions, these help give your identity shape.
4. If you’re overly responsible. You are responsible for maintaining a balance in your responsibilities ie. not feeling overwhelmed. You are also responsible for not stealing someone else’s opportunity to learn, grow and feel empowered.
5.If you see yourself as a victim, powerlessness or suffer from learned helplessness or poverty of belief. You are responsible for seeing the that you are the most powerful agent in your life and looking for the opportunities that reinforce that truth.
6. If you doubt yourself, distrust your emotions and your own judgment. You are responsible for recognizing and trusting your feelings so that you can understand the truth of yourself. If you don’t recognize and count your feelings as important, in other words, trust your feelings, no one else will either.
Until you change or modify your beliefs about yourself, you will continue to be a prime target for manipulation.
Everyone is vulnerable to manipulation.
I think we develop some of the following "fragile core self” characteristics when we have been in a relationship with a Toxic person. We learn (we are trained) to get along with them adopting some of the following characteristics in the name of self preservation and emotional survival. Just be aware that this survival mode although once helpful makes you a prime target for manipulation.
You are more vulnerable to manipulation if:
1. Your identity is defined by others approval of you, if your sense of peace is dependent on agreeing with others, if your sense of worth comes from pleasing others. You are responsible for forming your identity.
2. You believe your sense of identity and “self” needs to be invisible to get along with others. You are responsible for asserting your “self” so that those who love you can understand and honor you.
3. If your afraid of negative emotions; yours or someone else’s. You’re are responsible to learn the self reflective lessons of your negative emotions, these help give your identity shape.
4. If you’re overly responsible. You are responsible for maintaining a balance in your responsibilities ie. not feeling overwhelmed. You are also responsible for not stealing someone else’s opportunity to learn, grow and feel empowered.
5.If you see yourself as a victim, powerlessness or suffer from learned helplessness or poverty of belief. You are responsible for seeing the that you are the most powerful agent in your life and looking for the opportunities that reinforce that truth.
6. If you doubt yourself, distrust your emotions and your own judgment. You are responsible for recognizing and trusting your feelings so that you can understand the truth of yourself. If you don’t recognize and count your feelings as important, in other words, trust your feelings, no one else will either.
Until you change or modify your beliefs about yourself, you will continue to be a prime target for manipulation.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Peacemaker 1
November 3, 2009 Tuesday
“For the time speedily cometh that the Lord God shall cause a great division among the people,…..”
(2 Nephi 30:10)
Those that know peace will divide from those that do not know peace.
“…..the wolf dwell with the lamb;…..”
(2 Nephi 30:12)
“Let the mountains shout for joy, and all ye valleys cry aloud; and all ye seas and dry lands tell the wonders of your Eternal King! And ye rivers, and brooks, and rills, flow down with gladness. Let the woods and all the trees of the field praise the Lord; and ye solid rocks weep for joy! And let the sun, moon, and the morning stars sing together, and let all the sons of God shout for joy! And let the eternal creations declare his name forever and ever! And again I say, how glorious is the voice we hear from heaven, proclaiming in our ears, glory, and salvation, and honor, and immortality, and eternal life; kingdoms, principalities, and powers!”
(DC 128:23)
All living things will know peace.
“They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain…..”
(2 Nephi 30:15)
“And it shall come to pass in the last days, that the mountain of the LORD’s house shall be established in the top of the mountains, and shall be exalted above the hills; and all nations shall flow unto it.
And many people shall go and say, Come ye, and let us go up to the mountain of the LORD, to the house of the God of Jacob; and he will teach us of his ways, and we will walk in his paths: for out of Zion shall go forth the law, and the word of the LORD from Jerusalem.
And he shall judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people: and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruninghooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more.” (Isaiah 2:2-4)
The idea of war in any relationship will be confusing.
“…..for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea.” (2 Nephi 30:15)
“And truth is knowledge of things as they are, and as they were, and as they are to come….Man was also in the beginning with God. Intelligence, or the light of truth,… Light and truth forsake that evil one.” (DC 93: 24, 29, 37)
We will return to our original state, having added to our Light and Truth eternally.
What is the knowledge that will lead us to such peace? The same knowledge that has been revealed to us already, the knowledge that is revealed in our priesthood covenants.
“And this greater priesthood administereth the gospel and holdeth the key of the mysteries of the kingdom, even the key of the knowledge of God.
Therefore, in the ordinances thereof, the power of godliness is manifest.
And without the ordinances thereof, and the authority of the priesthood, the power of godliness is not manifest unto men in the flesh;
For without this no man can see the face of God, even the Father, and live.”
(Section 84:19 - 22)
And…our priesthood covenants gives us access to personal revelation and knowledge of the Truth of the peaceable things of Godliness….as taught by the Holy Ghost.
“If thou shalt ask, thou shalt receive revelation upon revelation, knowledge upon knowledge, that thou mayest know the mysteries and peaceable things—that which bringeth joy, that which bringeth life eternal.”
(Section 42:61)
“Therefore it is given to abide in you…. the Comforter; the peaceable things of immortal glory; the truth of all things; that which quickeneth all things, which maketh alive all things; that which knoweth all things, and hath all power according to wisdom, mercy, truth, justice, and judgment.”
(Moses 6:61)
I deeply appreciate how these things interact inside me each day they have a direct connect to my ability to feel inner peace as well as to make peace in my relationship to those I know and love, to others I don’t know well or at all and to all other living things on earth. I believe a true peacemaker desires all those….peaces.
“For the time speedily cometh that the Lord God shall cause a great division among the people,…..”
(2 Nephi 30:10)
Those that know peace will divide from those that do not know peace.
“…..the wolf dwell with the lamb;…..”
(2 Nephi 30:12)
“Let the mountains shout for joy, and all ye valleys cry aloud; and all ye seas and dry lands tell the wonders of your Eternal King! And ye rivers, and brooks, and rills, flow down with gladness. Let the woods and all the trees of the field praise the Lord; and ye solid rocks weep for joy! And let the sun, moon, and the morning stars sing together, and let all the sons of God shout for joy! And let the eternal creations declare his name forever and ever! And again I say, how glorious is the voice we hear from heaven, proclaiming in our ears, glory, and salvation, and honor, and immortality, and eternal life; kingdoms, principalities, and powers!”
(DC 128:23)
All living things will know peace.
“They shall not hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain…..”
(2 Nephi 30:15)
“And it shall come to pass in the last days, that the mountain of the LORD’s house shall be established in the top of the mountains, and shall be exalted above the hills; and all nations shall flow unto it.
And many people shall go and say, Come ye, and let us go up to the mountain of the LORD, to the house of the God of Jacob; and he will teach us of his ways, and we will walk in his paths: for out of Zion shall go forth the law, and the word of the LORD from Jerusalem.
And he shall judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people: and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruninghooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more.” (Isaiah 2:2-4)
The idea of war in any relationship will be confusing.
“…..for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea.” (2 Nephi 30:15)
“And truth is knowledge of things as they are, and as they were, and as they are to come….Man was also in the beginning with God. Intelligence, or the light of truth,… Light and truth forsake that evil one.” (DC 93: 24, 29, 37)
We will return to our original state, having added to our Light and Truth eternally.
What is the knowledge that will lead us to such peace? The same knowledge that has been revealed to us already, the knowledge that is revealed in our priesthood covenants.
“And this greater priesthood administereth the gospel and holdeth the key of the mysteries of the kingdom, even the key of the knowledge of God.
Therefore, in the ordinances thereof, the power of godliness is manifest.
And without the ordinances thereof, and the authority of the priesthood, the power of godliness is not manifest unto men in the flesh;
For without this no man can see the face of God, even the Father, and live.”
(Section 84:19 - 22)
And…our priesthood covenants gives us access to personal revelation and knowledge of the Truth of the peaceable things of Godliness….as taught by the Holy Ghost.
“If thou shalt ask, thou shalt receive revelation upon revelation, knowledge upon knowledge, that thou mayest know the mysteries and peaceable things—that which bringeth joy, that which bringeth life eternal.”
(Section 42:61)
“Therefore it is given to abide in you…. the Comforter; the peaceable things of immortal glory; the truth of all things; that which quickeneth all things, which maketh alive all things; that which knoweth all things, and hath all power according to wisdom, mercy, truth, justice, and judgment.”
(Moses 6:61)
I deeply appreciate how these things interact inside me each day they have a direct connect to my ability to feel inner peace as well as to make peace in my relationship to those I know and love, to others I don’t know well or at all and to all other living things on earth. I believe a true peacemaker desires all those….peaces.
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