Old Sharing

I was talking to a woman 30 years my senior and we were talking about the value of old friends, old not in reference to age but in reference to a long history together. She used the term “Old Sharing”. I have never heard that term “I think she coined it one the spot” said another friend when we talked about that phrase later. I like “Old Sharing” it has depth to it. Depth that can only be reached from a long term commitment to keep sharing honestly over time. It means friends who not only have a history together but they have a commitment to each other to stay in a relationship despite any bumps or tangles that happen on the outside of the friendship but also that happen on the inside, a little like a strong marriage. There is respect, honesty, understanding and genuine vulnerability; I am not even interested in a relationship that doesn’t have vulnerability in it, protection, for me, is disengaging. So many important things happen over long periods of time marriages can dissolve, parents once thriving become ill and sometime pass away, sometimes we put some of our best dreams to rest…there can be grieving. “Old Sharing” is a comfort when these things happen. But Old Sharing" can be celebratory as well. Good things can happen: marriages grow and become strong and give birth to families that multiply new generations, in mid-life new dreams never dreamt before sprout, years of collecting gems of knowledge valuable because of the sacrifice and cost are uncovered by determination to learn and put an end to the exhausting repeat curriculum of ignorance. The treasure of "Old Sharing" for me comes back to another personally popular theme: emotional intimacy. “Old Sharing” is familiar emotional intimacy over time. It is to know someone well enough that even as they share what is new, how they feel about it is before you, visibly before you, internally before you. And while language stumbles to catch up to the speed of emotional intimacy we silently wait to embrace "Old Sharing". I believe friends and “Old Sharing” get better with eternity.