Old Sharing

I was talking to a woman 30 years my senior and we were talking about the value of old friends, old not in reference to age but in reference to a long history together. She used the term “Old Sharing”. I have never heard that term “I think she coined it one the spot” said another friend when we talked about that phrase later. I like “Old Sharing” it has depth to it. Depth that can only be reached from a long term commitment to keep sharing honestly over time. It means friends who not only have a history together but they have a commitment to each other to stay in a relationship despite any bumps or tangles that happen on the outside of the friendship but also that happen on the inside, a little like a strong marriage. There is respect, honesty, understanding and genuine vulnerability; I am not even interested in a relationship that doesn’t have vulnerability in it, protection, for me, is disengaging. So many important things happen over long periods of time marriages can dissolve, parents once thriving become ill and sometime pass away, sometimes we put some of our best dreams to rest…there can be grieving. “Old Sharing” is a comfort when these things happen. But Old Sharing" can be celebratory as well. Good things can happen: marriages grow and become strong and give birth to families that multiply new generations, in mid-life new dreams never dreamt before sprout, years of collecting gems of knowledge valuable because of the sacrifice and cost are uncovered by determination to learn and put an end to the exhausting repeat curriculum of ignorance. The treasure of "Old Sharing" for me comes back to another personally popular theme: emotional intimacy. “Old Sharing” is familiar emotional intimacy over time. It is to know someone well enough that even as they share what is new, how they feel about it is before you, visibly before you, internally before you. And while language stumbles to catch up to the speed of emotional intimacy we silently wait to embrace "Old Sharing". I believe friends and “Old Sharing” get better with eternity.

I believe in a life with God our Father before we came to earth. I believe when we came to earth there was a veil of forgetfulness placed over our minds so that we could learn the eternal principle of Faith. We needed to practice believing in things we could only feel first, then hope in and eventually see…not all of this harvest comes in this earth life…such a test. But my personal belief is that we have no veil of forgetfulness over our emotions. It seems to me that we inherently know that in a family we should have a sense of belonging. We seem to automatically want our parents to love us, see us and accept us…whatever we look like. I believe this desire runs eternally deep and I think the most significant evidence there is of this lack of veil is how people emotionally respond when they don’t have these things in their families. They feel; hurt, fearful that they might never feel like they belong to a family, angry because they missed something they were entitled too experiencing, ripped off because they feel deficient or defective personally, emotionally wounded. What makes us believe that family is a place of love and belonging? A place to be known acknowledged and accepted? Who told us that? I believe we lived with our Father in Heaven, God, before we came to earth. I believed we lived in a family there. I believe I am His daughter and I have no memory of this in my mind, but I believe my emotions remember how I felt there. I was loved, I was safe, I was known, I was accepted for who I was who I still am today in some ways, there is no question that I belonged there because my Father in Heaven wanted me, He created me, He brought me to life. I believe these things and I believe in them and when I live according to my emotional memory; I am happier, I feel aligned and I feel honest. I wonder what joy was there in our family there with God. I wonder how I felt when He delighted in me. I wonder how I can create that kind of feeling in my home; for myself, for my husband, for my children?

It has been a long time since I have stirred in my blog. I haven’t looked at it in years. But John’s invitations unsettled me, in the best possible way. How do I create an environment in my home that creates in my children a desire to love and trust their Creator... and want to do His will….more than their own. How can I create the kind of environment that makes it easy for my children to believe in their Divine Nature? How can I create an environment that inspires the Unique Eternal Identity of each of my children in a way that they will want to claim it, cultivate it and protect it? These are the things that my mind cannot run away from. These are the things I cannot stop my heart from pulling toward.